Precious Memories of My Beloved Mom

 

My beloved Mom, Frances Mae Carson Willis, went home to be with Jesus on April 30, 2010. For Christmas one year, I found one of her handwritten recipes for White Fruit Cake. I had it engraved on wooden cutting boards and gave them to my brother, daughter, and son. When my daughter opened her cutting board on Christmas morning, tears immediately sprang from her eyes and mine as we simultaneously remembered all the many times we had watched Mom meticulously prepare her White Fruit Cake recipe, using her vintage white Sunbeam MixMaster. There really are no words, just precious memories.
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Another Christmas, I had her handwritten recipe for Lemon Squares printed on cotton tea towels for our loved ones. It truly brings back all the precious memories we have of her just by seeing her handwriting on those wooden cutting boards and those cotton tea towels. 

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During the days while my Mom was in palliative care, I played the song Be Still My Soul from Amy Grant’s Legacy album continuously prior to her homegoing. It begins with a melancholy guitar solo called Fields of Plenty and culminates with a voice-over poem by Amy. My heart was so captured by the lyrics I wrote every word in the Bible I had with me. Even listening to it now brings back the flood of warm feelings of peace I experienced during those days, knowing that Jesus was with me in my Mom's room, gently carrying her home.

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Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;

bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

leave to thy God to order and provide;

in every change He faithful will remain.

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Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

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Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

to guide the future as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

all now mysterious will be bright at last.

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Delight yourselves in the Lord, yes, and find your joy in Him. 

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Be known for your gentleness and never forget the nearness of our God. 

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Don’t worry, whatever is going to come, just tell God every detail, and the peace of God that no one understands will come to you. 

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No, don’t worry, just tell Him every detail and His peace will come to you. 

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These heart-felt lyrics draw my heart to one of my favorite Scriptures, Philippians 4:6-7…

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NLT: Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

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Phillips: Don't worry over anything whatever; tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus.
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Amplified: Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

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Peace is the calm assurance that Jesus knows what He’s doing. It is not related to our environment or circumstances. Peace is a gift, something Jesus gives. Through thankful, fervent prayer—articulating our burdens to Jesus—we exchange anxiety for peace. We seize His promises and assurances. The peace of God is powerfully vigilant, for it literally guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. We can imagine this peace as a fortress encircling us. It protects our mental, emotional, and spiritual health; our stability; our steadfastness; our confidence in God. As we pray, we experience His peace, the walls grow taller and stronger, protecting us more and more. Peace guards our hearts, we live behind the safe protection of our fortress of peace. No matter what, ruling our hearts is the calm assurance that Jesus knows what He’s doing.

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Heavenly Father, God of peace, teach me the path of peace. Thank You for precious memories of our beloved Mom. Teach me to pray with thanksgiving, to submit my requests and needs to You—and to leave them there. Forgive me for trying to carry my burdens on my own. You don’t want me to live in the clutches of anxiety; You want me to live freely, guarded by Your peace. Please flood and guard my heart with peace. Remind me, Father, that peace is not the absence of problems in my life but the calm assurance that You know what You’re doing. You have never failed me, and You will never leave me or forsake me—my confidence is in You. In the name of Your Son, Jesus, the Prince of Peace, amen.

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Look Up—meditate on Philippians 4:6-7… pray to see what it reveals about the character of God.

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Look In—as you meditate on Philippians 4:6-7  … pray to see how you might apply it to your life. Be propelled to ask galvanizing questions about your discoveries: "Because God is_________, I will_____________."

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Look Out—as you meditate on Philippians 4:6-7 …pray to see how you might apply it to your relationships with others. Let the nature of God impact on every relationship, for your good, and for His glory.

absolutely certain...God is with me

Every week when Holley Gerth gives her Coffee for Your Heart prompt for the coming week, I begin to pray, asking God to bring to mind those times when He has revealed His Truth to me regarding the prompt. This week the prompt is, “You’re not alone.”

As I prayed, I was reminded of a question I heard Pastor Andy Stanley ask,

"What would a girl, just like you, do, in a situation just like the one you are in, if she was absolutely certain that God was with her?"  

That question helps me focus on Jesus, and the Truth that I know and believe…His name is Emmanuel, God with us, He will never leave us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5b Amplified translates this verse in an even stronger way:

”...for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]"

As I prayed, I kept recalling times in my life when our Lord Jesus Christ has used a simple timeline document to help me gain a wide-angle view of life…to help me see that God had been there all along.

As I prayed, I remembered when I first saw the “Milk Drop Coronet" photograph in a book when I was pulled-out for a special class as a child. I then recalled it in a journal entry following a counseling session as an adult. Amazingly enough, just a few days following that, the Lord would remind me of His Presence, Emmanuel—God with us, when I saw this same photograph at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC. The symbolism was unmistakable to me, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has been with me all along—when I was knit together in my birthmother’s womb, when I was chosen, adopted, by loving Christian parents. He was with me when I first saw the “Milk Drop Coronet.”  He was with me when I recalled it in my journal following the counseling session, and He was with me when I turned to look at the darkened alcove to snap a picture of the “Milk Drop Coronet.” He is with me today and everyday into the future. He is with me. He is intimately involved in the tiniest details of my past, my present, and my future.

As I prayed, I remembered being a 10 year-old, admitted to the hospital on the Monday following JFK's assassination in 1963, for a routine tonsillectomy. The orderly came to my hospital room where my Mom and Dad were with me waiting for the time of surgery. He pushed my stretcher down the hall, Mom and Dad clinging to my hands, and telling me everything was going to be okay. Suddenly, we came to the elevator, and he said to them, “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait here. You can’t go with us any farther.” I looked at my Mom and Dad, who looked like they were near tears. As I watched the elevator doors close, I felt a sweet peace encompass me, just like Jesus was wrapping His Loving Arms around me. I had received Jesus Christ as my Savior and had been baptized just a few months earlier. I knew Jesus was with me in that elevator, and He would be with me during the surgery, I was not afraid. I woke up back in my hospital room with the scenes of JFK Jr. saluting JFK’s flag-draped coffin on the small black-and-white TV mounted on the wall at the end of my bed in the hospital.

As I prayed, Jesus reminded of how He comforted with me with the song, “Be Still My Soul” on Amy Grant’s Legacy CD, which played on “repeat” the entire time my Mom was in palliative care prior to her homegoing. It begins with a  melancholy guitar solo followed by the lyrics to “Be Still My Soul,” a haunting admonition to leave things in God's hands, culminating with a voice-over by Amy. My heart was so captured by it I wrote every word in the Bible I had with me. Even now thinking about it brings back the flood of warm feelings I experienced during those days, knowing that Jesus was with me in her room…gently carrying her home.

Finally, as I prayed, the Lord reminded me of this beautiful rendition of the song, “Alone Yet Not Alone,” performed by Joni Eareckson Tada. Quadriplegic, Joni, with limited lung capacity due to her disability, had her husband, Ken, pushing on her diaphragm while she recorded the Oscar-nominated song to give her enough breath to hit the high notes.

In what ways does the Lord reveal to you that, “You’re Not Alone”... please feel free to leave your comments in the box below, I would love to know your thoughts.