Eat the Mystery--Give Up Resentment for Gratitude

Excerpt from the wonderful book by Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2010. pp.22-23

“When we find ourselves groping along, famished for more, we can choose. When we are despairing, we can choose to live as Israelites gathering manna. For forty long years, God’s people daily eat manna—a substance whose name literally means, “What is it?” Hungry, they choose to gather up that which is baffling. They fill on that which has no meaning. More than 14,600 days they take their daily nourishment from that which they don’t comprehend. They find soul-filling in the inexplicable.

They eat the mystery.

They eat the mystery.

And the mystery, that which made no sense, is “like wafers of honey” on the lips…I think of all the mysteries I have refused, refused, to let nourish me. If it were my daughter, my son? Would I really choose the manna? I only tremble, wonder…if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.

To see through to God.

That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave.

Maybe so.

But how? How do we choose to allow the holes to become seeing-through-to-God places? To more-God places?

How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy? Self-focus for God-communion.

To fully live—to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal. It is possible, wildly.

I now see and testify.

So this story—my story.

A dare to an emptier, fuller life."

“Eucharisteo” from Luke 22: 19 “And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me. 

“Eucharisteo”…Grace…Thanksgiving…Joy… is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things – taking the pain that is given, giving thanks for it, and transforming it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness."

After reading this inspiring book, and listening several times to the eight-hour audio version of the book, read by the author, I am just beginning to learn..."all is grace"

"all is grace"...from the moment God knits us together in our mother's womb until the moment we see Him face-to-Face, amen?

remembering Challenger...beginnings ended

Challenger explosion 1-28-86 at 11:38 a.m.

Last year on January 28, like every year since 1986, when I see the news broadcasts which replay the Challenger explosion...I, like everyone who was alive on that day, go back to where I was when it happened...where I was physically and emotionally...but this year the memory has expanded to include the blog I wrote last year on January 28, and being able to connect with the little boy who held my hand that day.

Little did we know last year on January 28, that my experience from that time so many years before, would be repeated in our daughter's life just a few weeks later...Tracy expressed her feelings so well in her own blog on February 23, 2011...this is how it feels to be held...and now, this year, she and her husband, Zac, are expecting a little boy, Colton Michael, on April 4, 2012...we can't wait to be grandparents!

I have included below the blog I wrote last year, and my correspondence since last January with the little boy, Nathan Connell, who held my hand that fateful day...

It was Tuesday, January 28, 1986, at 11:38 a.m. This was my first day back at school as a teacher of children in the gifted education program since having a miscarriage at 10 weeks gestation one week before.

Our little school building, the East Area Alpha Center, was located high on a ridge in Lake Wales, Florida. Tuesdays were the days that all the kindergarten and first grade students in the gifted program from Davenport all the way down the ridge to Frostproof were brought to our little center in Lake Wales to participate in a creative and critical thinking curriculum.

I took the hand of Nathan Connell, a bright-eyed, brown-haired kindergartener who was wise beyond his years. I was wearing my London Fog trench coat with the lining zipped in on this unusually cold Florida morning. We joined the 45 other students and two other teachers out on the lawn of the school and we all were looking up. The sky was a brilliant cerulean blue. We watched Challenger rise into the sky, the bright orange glow of its rockets and white plume of smoke below the orange glow.

Suddenly, as Nathan and I held hands and watched, the orange glow exploded and the white plumes of smoke were diverging vertically from above the orange glow. It was unlike any shuttle launch we had seen before, was it a second stage rocket booster?

I looked down at Nathan’s knowing expression with his eyes glued to the Challenger and he said, “I hope the astronauts had parachutes.” We were outside, we had no TV or radio announcer to provide commentary. But Nathan knew. The glorious beginning had ended.

I wrote in my journal that evening…“I feel empty…beginnings ended…nerve endings of emotion…raw, open, exposed…longings of my heart…reaching out, vulnerable…soft to the touch…aching need, grieving for what is lost, for what could have been…”

February 17, 2011, Comment via Facebook from Nathan Connell

Dear Beth,

You cannot imagine how overcome with emotion I was to read that blog post. I remember that day and I remember it with such clarity.

I'm now a physician in Rhode Island, having just finished my internal medicine residency. This summer, I'm starting a fellowship in hematology and oncology so I'll be working in the cancer center here at Brown University's teaching hospitals.

Thank you so much for reaching out and thank you for everything you did for me that day and during my time as your student.

Keep in touch...
-Nathan

February 19, 2011, Response to Nathan Connell

Nathan, thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much to me...there are those moments in our lives that we do remember with such clarity, probably because of the emotions involved...every year on January 28 when the news programs replay the video of Challenger and ask "Where were you..." I go right back there to Lake Wales, holding your sweet little hand...this year I felt led to write about it on my blog...with your permission, I would like to add your comments above to my blog...you have made wonderfully wise choices with your life, and I know you will be a blessing to the hematology and oncology patients at the cancer center...our lives are so short, no matter how many years we live...blessings, beth

February 21 Response from Nathan Connell:
Of course, please feel free to use my comments however you wish and again, thank you for everything you've done for me!
-Nathan

What about you, where were you on January 28, 1986?

(c) 2012 beth willis miller

servant leadership--do the next thing

Leadership became a passion for me early in my life...

• elected president of our Future Homemakers of America and selected as editor-in-chief of our Smoke Signal school newspaper at Southwest Junior High School
• elected as the first female president of our student body at Sebring High School
• leadership positions as a county-wide program education specialist in Highlands County
• Florida Department of Education gifted education state consultant in Tallahassee, and 
• executive director at the Learning Resource Center of Polk County.

No matter what the task, I have found the maxim, 'Do the next thing' has helped me look beyond what appear to be overwhelming obstacles to get the job done...

When this Monday Profile (above) was published on the front page of The Ledger, I heard an interview on Moody radio with Elisabeth Elliot, who was talking about her life in Ecuador following the murder of her husband while they were missionaries. As a widow with a young infant, living in the jungles of a foreign land, Elliot’s world must have felt as though it had been turned upside down. But instead of throwing up her hands and saying, "What’s next?" she asked, "What’s the next thing?" 

Elliot said in the interview, "You can imagine how tempted I was to just plunk myself down and say, 'There is no way I can do this.' I wanted to sink into despair and helplessness, then I remembered this old Saxon legend, 'Do the next thing.'"

Instead of allowing the burdens to stack until they completely blocked out the sun, Elliot dealt with them one at a time. She said you should not sit down and think of all the things you have to do because it can be overwhelming. Instead, just pick the next thing and do it, then move on to the one after that. She said while pushing through them, you’re likely to find that many of the problems will work themselves out.

The essence of servant leadership is found in the following poem from which that maxim comes:

Do The Next Thing

From an old English parsonage, down by the sea

There came in the twilight a message to me;

Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,

Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.

And on through the hours the quiet words ring

Like a low inspiration—"DO THE NEXT THING."

Many a question, many of fear,

Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.

Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,

Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.

Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King,

Trust them with Jesus, "DO THE NEXT THING."

Do it immediately; do it with prayer;

Do it reliantly, casting all care;

Do it with reverence, tracing His Hand,

Who placed it before thee with earnest command.

Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,

Leave all resultings, "DO THE NEXT THING."

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,

(Working or suffering) be thy demeanor,

In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,

The light of His countenance be thy psalm,

Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing,

Then, as He beckons thee, "DO THE NEXT THING."

How about you? In what ways do you serve as a servant leader?


How does the maxim, 'Do The Next Thing' help you approach the tasks you have before you?

Using Your Abundance Mentality in 2012

There was one concept that really stood out to me in the Principle-Centered Leadership course by Stephen Covey which I completed several years ago. It is the concept of “abundance mentality.”

Abundance mentality is a bone-deep belief that there are enough natural and human resources to realize my dream and that my success does not necessarily mean failure for others, just as their success does not preclude my own.

I think it appealed to me so much because it eliminated small thinking and adversarial relationships. So often, people are looking out for number one, anxious to get their “piece of the pie” and protect their “turf.” Covey explains that such self-centered activity springs from a belief that resources are limited, or a “scarcity mentality.” People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of “win-lose.” They believe, “There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me.”

By contrast, people with an abundance mentality are trusting, open, giving, willing to live and let live, and able to value difference. They realize strength lies in differences. They employ the negotiation principle of win/win and the communication principle of seeking first to understand before seeking to be understood. They don’t get their security from someone else’s opinion.

Seven characteristics of people with abundance mentality:

They return often to sources of internal security—sources that keep them gentle, open, trusting, and genuinely happy for the successes of other people…that renew and recreate them…that nurture and nourish abundance feelings, enabling them to grow and develop and giving them comfort, insight, inspiration, guidance, protection, direction, and peace of mind.

They seek solitude and enjoy nature—cultivate the ability to be alone and to think deeply, to enjoy silence and solitude. Reflect, write, listen, plan, prepare, visualize, ponder, and relax. Serene natural settings make us more contemplative and peaceful.

They sharpen the saw regularly—by exercising mind and body…cultivating the habit of reading widely and deeply.

They serve others anonymously—feeling that service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living in this world. If our intent is to serve others without self-concern, we are inwardly rewarded with increased internal security and an abundance mentality.

They maintain long-term intimate relationships—whenever they sense someone is at the crossroads, they go the second mile in communicating their belief in that person.

They forgive themselves and others—they don’t brood about yesterday or daydream about tomorrow. They live sensibly in the present and flexibly adapt to changing circumstances. Their self-honesty is revealed by their sense of humor, their willingness to admit and then forget mistakes, and their ability to cheerfully do the things ahead that lie within their power.

They are problem-solvers—they become part of a creative problem-solving process, and the synergistic solutions coming out of these interactions are usually far better than those originally proposed.

How about you, in what ways will you apply your abundance mentality in your life in 2012?

Note: Concepts from Principle-Centered Leadership by Stephen Covey.

Essay Published in Anthology!

WOW! I am so excited and honored that my essay, Comfort Measures Only, was selected for the recently published book, A New Song: Glimpses of the Grace Journey, an anthology of essays, poems, stories and photos celebrating God's grace on life's journey (Edited by Diane Kulkarni).

Click here to order "A New Song: Glimpses of the Grace Journey"

As the year 2012 begins, may each of us look forward to what God will do this coming year as we seek His Face and experience His Grace…

Consider this quote and Scripture: “Joy: the unwavering trust that God knows what He’s doing and has blessed me with the opportunity to be a part of it. It’s not despite what’s happening in my life but because of it. When everything earthly feels heavy, He gives me an internal lightness that can’t be touched.” 

Habakkuk 2:3 The Living Bible--But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!

In what ways are you trusting God in 2012?

Apply Your Creative Problem-Solving Skills!

In a recent interview on Book TV Thomas Friedman, co-author of the new book, That Used to Be Us, stated, "Employers are looking for individuals who utilize creative problem-solving to invent, re-invent, and re-engineer their jobs."

Creative Problem-Solving

Many investigators of thinking processes contend that there is a strong connection between problem-solving and creative production. 

The Osborn-Parnes Creative Problem-Solving Model emphasizes both divergent and convergent thinking in each phase of the process. 

Consider the following elaboration of the elements in the process:

• Objective-Finding: Awareness and a "fuzzy" statement of the problem.

• Fact-Finding: Utilize fact-finding questions, and select and answer the most important ones.

• Problem-Finding: Problem is stated and restated "In what ways might I..." and the broadest statement of the problem is chosen.

• Idea-Finding: Generation of ideas through brainstorming and other ideational techniques emphasizing the principle of deferred judgment, and selection of ideas.

• Solution-Finding: List necessary and desirable criteria and evaluate ideas against selected criteria.

• Acceptance-Finding: List anticipated problems in implementing solution, and design strategies to overcome them to insure success.

In what ways might you apply this Creative Problem-Solving process to invent, re-invent or re-engineer your life?

In What Ways Do You Apply the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People?

Several years ago, I completed the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People course. Here is a brief summary of the seven habits...

1.    Be proactive--"Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious, or aggressive. It does mean recognizing our responsibility to make things happen."

2.    Begin with the end in mind--"This habit is based on imagination--the ability to envision, to see the potential, to create with our minds what we cannot at present see with our eyes...”

3.    Put first things first--"Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing on what, not how; results not methods. Spend time. Be patient. Visualize the desired result."

4.    Think win-win--"Win-Win is a frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying."

5.    Seek first to understand, then to be understood--"'Seek First to Understand' involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives."

6.    Synergize--"Synergy works; it's a correct principle. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is effectiveness in an interdependent reality--it is teamwork, team building, the development of unity and creativity with other human beings."

7.    Sharpening the saw--"This is the habit of renewal...It circles and embodies all the other habits. It is the habit of continuous improvement...that lifts you to new levels of understanding and living each of the habits."

In what ways do you apply the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in your life?

Note: Quotes are from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.