Where were you on 9/11?

Where were you on 9/11?

 

I stood staring in disbelief at the TV in our family room. Just as I was about to leave for work, my mother said, “Beth, look at that! A plane has hit that building!” I put down my keys and sat watching, waiting for the news commentators to explain the unexplainable. Then, at 9:03am, as the national television cameras rolled, unbelievably, the second plane hit the south tower of the World Trade Center in New York City.

“What’s happening?” my mother said.

“I don’t know,” I said, “but we need to pray for all those poor people in those buildings and their families.” At once, my mom and I moved together, sat on the couch held hands, and prayed.

I had already arrived at work at 9:30am when President Bush stood surrounded by elementary school children and teachers and addressed the nation, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is a difficult moment for America. Today, we've had a national tragedy. Two airplanes have crashed into the World Trade Center in an apparent terrorist attack on our country." Just moments later, the third plane hit the Pentagon at 9:37am, the fourth flight ended in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, at 10:03am, and the twin towers fell at 9:59am and 10:28am.

My co-workers and I gathered together in our office conference room glued to the television reports as the events of the day unfolded. We hoped against hope that there would be more people found alive in the rubble. We listened with rapt attention to interviews with folks who said, “I stopped by the coffee shop for a donut, or I would have been in the World Trade Center,” or “I was running late for work, I missed the train, or I would have been there, too.” 

Something about the randomness of those who survived and the thousands who perished seemed so unfair. We prayed for all the families affected, and sought the comfort of our Great Shepherd of the sheep, who never leaves us or forsakes us.

All day, we leaned in toward the TV to listen to the interviews with chaplains who were on the scene at Ground Zero, answering the question, “Where was God when the planes hit the towers?” with their response, “He was in the same place where He was when His Son was crucified.” The tragic events of this day would help to reframe my thinking about God, that He sees the end from the beginning, that He has a plan, a hope, and a future for each of us. Psalm 139 says, “Every day of my life was recorded in your book, every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Through this experience, I came to a renewed sense of God’s sovereignty, whether I’m on the ground or in the air, on a jumbo jet after the 9/11 hijackings or on a little prop plane in the snow-covered mountains of Colorado. During this time, my daily prayer became, “Lord, I praise you for your amazing sovereignty. You wove me together in my mother’s womb, saw me before I was born, and have already recorded every day of my life. You charted the path ahead of me and laid out every moment before a single day had passed. I don’t have to fear because you are with me, before me, behind me, surrounding me.”

September 11, 2001, represented a crossroads in my life. It was my twelfth year as executive director of the Learning Resource Center of Polk County, Inc. I was responsible for developing and managing a $1.7M annual budget, grant writing, program evaluation, program monitoring and supervision of certified teachers. The staff gathered in our office conference room glued to the television reports as the events of the day unfolded. I was their leader, we had built this learning center from an agency which served 700 students with a $350,000 annual budget in 1989 to 2001, when we served over 4,000 students with a $1.7M annual budget, due primarily to grants I had written and hired staff to implement. However, one month earlier, on Saturday, August 11, 2001, I was at home doing chores when our telephone rang.

“Beth, this is Pastor Jay. How are you doing today?”

Pastor Jay was the senior pastor of my church, First Baptist Church at the Mall. We had joined this church when we returned to Lakeland in 1989. Pastor Jay became our senior pastor in 1996, and our church experienced such a revival, we sold our downtown church property and literally bought the entire old Lakeland Mall, which had been vacant for about 10 years. My family and I had been active members of the church, but this was the first time I had ever had a personal conversation with Pastor Jay, either in person or on the phone. To say I was surprised, even shocked, is an understatement.

“I’m doing great, just doing chores,” I said.

“The reason I’m calling is that my administrative assistant, Donna, and her husband are moving to Houston,” he said.

Immediately, I assumed he was calling to ask me to recommend someone for this position. I began thinking of all the people I knew who were administrative assistants, and who were looking for a new job. I was already picturing one of our board members when he interrupted my thoughts with, “My wife, Angie, and I have been praying about this, both separately and together, and your name is the only name the Lord is giving us. Would you pray about becoming my administrative assistant? I know you have a great job, but I would just like to ask that you pray about it. We have some exciting days ahead.”

And I said, “Yes, I will pray about it,” hung up the phone, dropped to my knees, and cried out to the Lord, “Is this You? Do You want me to leave my leadership position at the Learning Resource Center to become Pastor Jay’s secretary?” Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by a sense of peace, comfort, protection, and inner joy, and I knew in my heart it was God’s will. I walked out into our family room where my husband, Jack, was sitting in his recliner.

“Who was that on the phone?” he said.

I fell to my knees beside his chair, tears streaming down my face, and I said, “It was Pastor Jay, he wants me to be his secretary, I prayed and I think this is God’s will.” I took Jack’s hand and we prayed together for God’s will to be done. Jack was very supportive, telling me to do whatever I felt I needed to do. My mother and my children were not so sure. Our son, Jason, was only 10 years old, and the Learning Resource Center was like a second home to him.

Our daughter, Tracy, was 22, a student a Florida Southern College, she said, “Mom, have you lost your mind? You have a Master’s degree in education, you were the Florida Department of Education state consultant for gifted education until we moved back to Lakeland when Granddaddy had cancer, and you become the executive director of LRC. You can’t leave your leadership position, your education, your experience, not to mention, your salary, to be Pastor Jay’s secretary!” Tracy is a gifted student, very verbally proficient. She had articulated every fear I was experiencing. My mother, who had moved in with us with my father died from cancer shortly after we moved back to Lakeland, said, “Beth, are you sure?”

Even with all my fears, within and without, I told Pastor Jay, “Yes!” on August 12, 2001. Shortly after that I gave my notice to the LRC Board of Trustees, who tried to talk me out of it, but eventually accepted my resignation, and gave me a wonderful celebration on September 7. On September 11, I was involved in the process of interviewing people who were applying to take my position. Just one month later, on October 11, 2001, I would take my first steps onto the property of First Baptist Church at the Mall, not as just a church member, but as an employee.

It’s now been 24 years since these events surrounding 9/11/2001 occurred, and many changes have taken place. But one thing remains true. God sees the end from the beginning, He has a plan, a hope, and a future for each of us. Psalm 139 says, “Every day of my life was recorded in your book, every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” 

I remember a question I heard a pastor once ask,

"What would a girl, just like you, do, in a situation just like the one you are in, if she was absolutely certain that God was with her?" 

That question helps me to remember the Truth that I know and believe. God is with us in the dark. His name is Emmanuel, God with us. He will never leave us or forsake us: Hebrews 13:5b:

Amplified: for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]

When trouble or tragedy strikes, we long for God, the living God. Uncomfortable circumstances may continue, but God will prove Himself our sure refuge because He has promised He will never forsake us. His name, Emmanuel, means “God with us.” Because of this truth we can continue to call on the Lord with confidence that He will hear and respond because of His unfailing love.

O Heavenly Father, Emmanuel, thank You that You are the “with us God.” Thank You for Your promised presence with me today. Although my circumstances may seem overwhelming, I call to You with confidence because You are all powerful and You love me. I praise You that you are Emmanuel—God with us—in everything we experience as we walk through this broken, hurting world. Help me to be Your hands and feet today, Your words of comfort and encouragement to those who need to know “where You are” in their times of deep need. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Look up – Meditate on Hebrews 13:5b. Pray to see what it reveals about the character of God.

Look in – Meditate on Hebrews 13:5b. Pray to see how you might apply it to your life. Be propelled to ask galvanizing questions about your discoveries: “Because God is ______________, I will ______________.”

Look out – Meditate on Hebrews 13:5b. Pray to see how you might apply it to your relationships with others. Let the nature of God impact on every relationship, for your good, and for His glory.