Book Page: Under His Wings: Truths to Heal Adopted, Orphaned, and Waiting Children's Hearts


Beth Willis Miller, M.Ed., co-author of Under His Wings:
Truths to Heal Adopted, Orphaned, and Waiting Children's Hearts

Under His Wings provides a POST-ADOPTION growth experience for EVERY adoptee, ages 9 and upward! As adoptees read about Moses from the Bible, defensive hearts melt and adoptees realize they are just like the guy who was just like them but went on to be one of the world's greatest leaders. This gives them hope and helps them to realize that there is a way to get through seemingly impossible sadness, depression, and anger.
Perfect for:
·         All-adoptee growth groups
·         Parents who are mentoring teens
·         Adoptive parents and birth parents who want to better understand their child
·         Professionals who want a tool written by authors who have walked the walk
·         Any post-adoption group that has been touched by adoption
The workbook has four appendices:
·         Feelings Descriptor Chart (to help you wrap words around feelings)
·         Exhaustive List of God's Names (to help you identify your feelings about God)
·         Time-Line Exercise (to help you make sense of the broken pieces of your journey)

·         12 Daily Healing Steps for Adopted, Foster, & Orphan Children's Hearts

Reviews

It is not an easy thing to face adoption issues, but when you go through the book it helps. I have gone through the book 3 times and each time God opens up another part that I either missed or was not ready to hear.
Terri Wille

This is a wonderful resource that fills a big void in the adoption world. You are not alone and your hurts can be healed. The authors also facilitate a complimentary yahoo group including a boot camp to go through the workbook and receive other mutual support and scripture in a safe space.--V. Claire Milam (Austin, TX)

I worked through this book in the adoptee bootcamp and have experienced tremendous spiritual growth as a result of reading the biblical truths. This is not only a must-read for adoptees, but also for adoptive parents as it will help them to "get it" and understand their adopted child's heart.
LJ, adoptee from Johannesburg, South Africa

As an adoptee, this is a must have and a must read! What an exceptional piece of literature to help guide you biblically and respectfully through the adoptee perspective.
This is also an incredible way for even an adoptive parent to sit along side their adopted child and work through it with them! Love it, own it and share it with others!-D.J.Petrik

From the Authors

Dear friend, 

Ever get angry? Ever feel uncontrollable rage? Ever wonder if your level of anger is pathologic, that there's something inherently wrong with you? Ever feel like your emotions are out of proportion to the circumstances? Like us, you may weep longer and louder at stranger's funeral than the deceased person's family. Where does all this seemingly uncontrollable emotion come from?
Why do many of us see life through a lens of rejection? Why do unanswered phone calls, emails, and letters spell R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N to us? Will we ever get over it? Why is our self-esteem not low, but non-existent? Why do we try to be like others instead of being ourselves? Do we even know who we are? Why are we afraid we'll be too much to handle and why are goodbye's so difficult? Why do we have meltdowns on birthdays when everyone is kind? Why aren't their efforts ever enough to please us?
Why do many of us go from therapist to therapist and not find the help we need?  Is there anybody out there who "gets it?" Can anyone hear? Who can understand what happens inside us when we lose our first family, second, third or fourth family? Who can understand what we experience when we are placed for the 29th time in a foster home, or suffer abuse in a county home or orphanage, or "age out" of the foster care system? Is there anyone who can understand?
Yes! There are many that fit those descriptions and you will hear their voices as you read the pages in this workbook. You will discover that you're not alone. You will discover that being in their presence just one hour is better than years of therapy.
Finding fellow strugglers on the journey is not enough, however. It's a huge step in the right direction toward healing, but what about our deep wounds? Wounds that we may not be able to describe? Wounds that make us feel crazy and unapproachable? Wounds like hearing we were conceived in the worst possible situation. Wounds that cloud our belief system to the point that we believe our lives are a mistake. Wounds that tell us we were never worth anything, anyway. Wounds that tell us that we deserve rejection from our first families? How can we know the reason why we've had disruptions in our families?

Can we ever have peace when we've experienced such a painful past? There's only one way to find peace with a painful past and that is through a personal relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ. He alone, through His Spirit, can place a healing balm on our deep wounds. 

The Bible says: "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!" (Jeremiah 6:14 TLB)We (Beth and Sherrie) have found that in the places that hurt the most, God brings a promise from the Bible to our memory at just the right time. We have experienced comfort and growth through our growing relationship with Jesus and how we long for the same growth for you! You may be thinking, "Fine for Beth and Sherrie, but I know nothing about a personal relationship with God. I've never picked up a Bible, let alone know a verse well enough to bring it to mind." That's okay. Wherever you are in your journey is exactly where you should be and the fact that you've picked up this workbook shows that your heart wants to be healed. 
The Biblical account describing God as an eagle teaching his eaglets to fly is exactly the process you'll go through as you work through the chapters of the workbook. "Like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions." (Deut. 32: 11).
Now, let's apply this verse by envisioning God as the eagle and yourself as one of the eaglets in his nest. First, he stirs up our nest by taking away the soft things in life. Losing our first family, being passed by in foster care or the orphanage, or being rejected when you finally find your birth mother. 

We complain to God and everyone within earshot. We don't like the pain. Why did we have to hurt like this? Why can't we have a normal childhood? Why all the chaos and change?

Then, God the eagle hovers over us, showing us the magnificence of his wings--his strength, majesty, power, and sovereignty. If little eaglets could talk, they'd say, "We never knew you were so big and powerful." 
Notice that the eaglet's attention is drawn away from the painful nest to God's wings. Like eaglets, we want to know him more when we begin to discover his awesomeness is the pages of Scripture.

After we have rested beneath his wings and allowed healing to begin, God invites us to ride on His wings, away from a painful past into an incredibly wonderful future. 

Are you ready to rest under his wings? Wherever you are in your journey, we are honored that we can walk with you for a while!
With Love and Hugs,
Sherrie and Beth

From the Inside Flap

What the Workbook Is About 
This workbook is intended to help you determine what impact separation from your first family has had on your present day life.  This won't be an ethereal exercise. It will be practical so that you will know beyond a doubt that you have worked through your painful past. Then, chapter titles will reflect the thoughts you'll have once growth has begun. How exciting is that?
Prepare to be challenged! Studying the Bible will be an integral part of each chapter because we don't want you to put a band-aid on a gaping wound. Complete healing cannot occur apart from God. If you have never studied the Bible, we suggest purchasing an easy-to-understand version, such as the New Living Translation. Be sure to bring your Bible with you if you're using this material in a group or with a counselor or parent. Don't worry if you aren't familiar with the Bible. We will help you!
Prepare to make life-changing decisions also. You will be asked at the end of every chapter, "What is the take-away? How is my life going to change as a result of studying and applying what I have learned in this chapter?"
For maximum growth, be sure to complete every chapter. The old adage, "You get out of it what you put into it" is true here. Now that we've seen the overview of the workbook, let's take a closer look at what we can expect in every chapter.
Part I reveals thoughts that indicate you may have buried emotions about separation from your first family that need to be healed. They are: 
  • "I feel like something's missing." 
  • "I often feel like I don't belong."
  • "I blow up easily and hurt others."
  • "I sometimes fantasize about my birth family." 
  • "I am confused about my identity." 
  • "I push myself to be perfect." 
  • "I am terrified of rejection." 
  • "I struggle with self-esteem." 
  • "I get uptight whenever I think about meeting my birth family." 
Part II reveals thoughts that indicate you have come to terms with your adoption/foster/orphanage experience. They are: 
  • "I have a unique life purpose!"
  • "I can see how God is working in my life!"
  • "I can now take rejection in stride!"
  • "I am amazed that God wants to be my friend!"
  • "I enjoy helping others grow!"
  • "I can now see my adoption experience through God's eyes!" 
From the Back Cover
Watching a mama eagle teach her eaglets to fly applies to you! God has been likened to an Eagle. You are his eaglet and He knows your wounds from losing your first family. He wants to comfort you in a safe place--under his wings. 

After you've learned to rest beneath His wings, He'll teach you to fly and then soar through any of life's storms, with your eye on the goal--knowing Jesus. This workbook will show you how to:
  • Enjoy unshakeable self-esteem
  • Conquer anger and rage
  • Identify and reverse sabotaging behaviors
  • Talk about our first family without feeling guilty
  • Know that our struggles aren't weird, but common
  • Embrace our unique life purpose
We are honored that you have chosen this workbook as a tool to help you grow stronger. We look forward to seeing you flying from the nest with a freedom you never dreamed possible!

About the Authors
Sherrie Eldridge and Beth Willis Miller...Coaching Adoptees to Get Strong and Move On
  • A twice-reunited adoptee, Eldridge is a straight-shooting, transparent, and compassionate author, speaker, and trainer in the field of adoption. Her books are research-based, yet woven within are poignant messages pounded out on the anvil of her adoptee heart. This is what makes Eldridge unique! Because her books hit core needs, readers review her work with anger or thanks. She takes this in stride, knowing its the price of being a pioneer and that many critics return with thanks. One adoptive parent said she had a beautiful heart because she had the courage to tell him what his daughter might experience. In 2010, Eldridge received the Congressional Angel in Adoption Award from the Honorable Congressman Dan Burton of Indiana.
  • Beth Willis Miller is a reunited adoptee with a Master's degree in Education, in curriculum, instruction, and supervision. She writes articles at bethwillismiller.blogspot.com on a variety of topics to inspire and encourage others. Her expertise as a creative and critical thinking specialist is steeped in years of experience as a writer, presenter, educator and former Florida Department of Education State Consultant for Gifted Education. She is married with two adult children, and one grandson.

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